R and J in the USA

July 8, 2024

The driver for my second Uber ride of the day was a man who looked to be in his 40s, and had worked as an in-home health aide when in his 20s. He said the people he worked with back then are his closest friends now, because they went through the same things together. They had to have each other’s backs. Patients lashed out at them, attacked them, and occasionally tried to stab them.

I asked him if that experience helps him deal with people in general. “Oh yeah,” he replied. “Especially in the area of conflict. The things I learned in training for that job about de-escalation, and using those skills in that job, help me deal with people all the time. Especially when there are conflicts. People are afraid to step in, but it’s no big deal for me. I’ll get right in the middle of it in between two people and calm things down. It’s easy for me. I’m used to it.”

I told him that my time as a high school teacher helped me in dealing with adults when I got my first non-teaching job. He got a kick out of that.

He now works as a contract hospital nurse, typically working on three-month contracts. I asked him if he uses that job to see other parts of the country by taking contracts in regions he’s interested in visiting. “I thought I would do that,” he said. “But my father is elderly and needs help. And I’m the only one. I don’t have any siblings, so I don’t want to leave him. He doesn’t have anyone else here.”

I told him I could relate a bit. “If I didn’t have brothers and sisters in the area, I probably wouldn’t be doing this trip. Even so, I’ll be going home a couple times to visit. She’s 83. I don’t want to go ten months without seeing her. We’re lucky that she’s in good health. But you never know.”

He seemed to appreciate the sympathetic ear, and that I could relate to him a little. He looked at me in the mirror and said, “She’s 83?”

We had been parked for a minute, having already arrived at my destination. He turned and continued to talk with me for a minute longer. He seemed to appreciate the conversation. At the same time, he didn’t overextend or go on too long. He wasn’t talking to talk, or to serve only himself. He was talking to relate.