R and J in the USA

Julie was loving the respite at the Star Plunge hot springs in Thermopolis, Wyoming. She had already gotten into the water while waiting for Ryan to come join. He had taken a few extra minutes in the van to get himself arranged, and Julie was interested in sparing no extra minutes to soak in Wyoming’s hot waters. 

She got into the generously sized pool with her goggles on and was getting her Wyoming swim in doing laps in the thermal waters when she noticed there was a family about to take on the 12 foot leap off the jumping board into the deep end of the pool. Julie stopped swimming to watch the fun.

The mom waited in the water below while Dad and the two little girls ascended the steps. The Dad ran and jumped with all the confidence of an actual cannonball. The first little girl took the leap with a plugged nose, straight legs, and a look of exhilaration.

Then came the second little girl. She had a look on her face that Julie recognized well as the girl peered over the edge of the board. She was too young to say such a thing, but “Heeeeeelll no!” was written all over her face as she looked over the edge with an expression of stark terror. She slowly started backing towards the stairs.

Her sister had already come to the bottom of the stairs for a second go and was encouraging her on. You can do it! Come on! You can do it.

Her sister then started climbing the stairs saying with both her words and her actions, “There is only way out of here, and it’s off the edge of that board.”

The young girl looked like a trapped mouse, looking at the blockaded stairs with hope and the edge of the board with terror.

She slowly walked toward the edge of the board and stood there to the calls of encouragement from down below.

Julie watched the whole thing with a sense of endearment, nostalgically remembering her own childhood fears of swimming – and her adult ones too – finding it sweet as she watched the young girl shake with nerves, and feeling a deep empathy for what she knew the girl was likely feeling. 

After a few minutes of cheers and encouragement from her family below, the little girl grabbed her nose and made the leap!

The family cheered. Julie cheered too.

”How sweet.” Julie thought as she resumed her swim to the sounds of the little girl reporting that it wasn’t bad and she actually loved it and wanted to go again. 

“Good for her.” Julie thought, feeling quite the adult as she swam away, an action that Julie would have been too frozen with terror herself to do if this had been a decade earlier.

Eventually, Ryan came out from the changing room and we enjoyed some qt in the thermal bliss of the pool. After a bit of time, we both were eager to make our own leaps off the board.

We climbed up, and Ryan, off course, jumped with ease, relaxation, and flare.

Julie expected to do just the same. After all, she had long ago faced any fears she had about the water. And, as for heights, she had tackled those with a day at Busch Gardens months ago, walking into the park with total and utter terror to ride the rollercoasters with the near vertical drops and having left it going on those coasters over and over by herself with Ryan watching on from the side. But, it turns out, Julie has never jumped off of anything this high, and apparently her limbic system had not signed the consent form. She walked to the edge and noticed in herself all the responses she had seen in the little girl just minutes ago, the girl that was more than 35 years her junior. 

What is that phrase? Hello darkness my old friend? Yeah. That’s the one.

“What the heck?!” Julie thought. “Really?!” I gotta use courage for this silly little activity also! Julie has a strange habit of feeling fear doing things for which there is little to no actual risk, while having no fear at all for things that most people are afraid of and when there are valid concerns that could easily justify a healthy fear. Julie has walked though many dark city roads alone late at night. Unadvisable at best, downright stupid and super dangerous at worst. But apparently, jumping off a board that tons of people have safely jumped off of into deep enough water, apparently this is where Julie’s survival instinct is kicking in?

The family was still hanging out by the edge of the pool in the deep end. They were looking up at Julie. They added their voices of encouragement to Ryan’s. It was clear – Julie was now the one providing the entertainment. 

From the top of the board, Julie turned and looked to the little girl who had already overcome the same urge Julie was feeling to descend down that staircase.

Ryan called from the pool with all manner of encouragement as he saw his grown-ass wife petrified just 12 feet above him. Despite his best efforts, Julie remained stationary.

”Gotta any tips?” Julie called to the little girl.

”It’s not bad at all. It’s fun!” She called back.

Oftentimes, when Julie finds herself at a waterpark, which for a 45-year-old is more often than one might expect, she finds herself feeling nervous at the top of the first slide. Again, no logical reason. She always looks at the twiggy little children in line in front of her going down the same slide with glee and then thinks, “Gosh. If they can do it, I can do it. “ Then she forces herself to go, fear and all, and ends up loving it.

Julie stood on the top of that board in a battle with her limbic system for control of her body.  She allowed the little girl’s words of encouragement and example to help her win the battle. And then, with just enough courage to tip the scale, she made the leap!

The fall lasted only a second, but was just as scary a feeling as anticipated. But, of course, it was also fun. This is the woman who, only a month prior, was starting to feel close to being willing to give skydiving a try. Well, clearly “close” is a relative word.

So much for Julie thinking the little girl’s fear was sweet and endearing. Now the little girl had become Julie’s role model – and a good one at that.

Julie landed in the water and came up with a smile. She swam over to the wall near the family that was celebrating her jump and Julie said to the little girl.

”Thank you! You were an inspiration!”

A look came over the mother’s face and the little girl’s face as well. These words seemed to land more deeply than Julie had anticipated.

”Thank you so much for saying that,” the mother said to Julie with a glance between Julie and her daughter and one of those happy and proud looks that only a mother can have.

”Today is her birthday. You saying that is really special.”

”Oh, wow,” Julie thought. “What a bonus! Me being a grown-ass chicken (not that Julie thought the little girl was a chicken – her fear, in Julie’s estimation, was entirely age-appropriate) just contributed to a little girl having a special birthday. How great is this!”

Maybe not the best feedback loop to encourage Julie to overcome such fears, but it was wonderful nonetheless.

Julie doubled down and said, “Seeing you overcome your fear gave me the courage to do the same! Thank you!”

That look of pride surged on both their faces again, and Julie’s heart was flush with warmth in this already thermal water. 

Julie found herself wondering what that little girl’s life was like that made that moment mean as much to them as it clearly did. No matter what, Julie was deeply touched to have gotten to be a part of a lovely moment. 

Later in the locker room, as Julie headed for the showers, she passed by the mother and her two daughters. The little girl waved at Julie with that same look on her face. Julie and the mother laughed a warm-hearted laugh at the endearing gesture as Julie waved back. It seemed that Julie had found a friend. 

Even more so, Julie had found a lovely reminder of something she already knew, but was nice to have a chance to remember. Fear can be found just about anywhere in this world, even when you least expect it. But, then again, so can courage and inspiration.