R and J in the USA

If you are going to get a flat tire in the middle of the woods of Texas and you have the opportunity to get your tire replaced by a Marine that used to both fly and work on Apache helicopters, we suggest you take it.

After dropping Ryan off at the airport in Dallas to head home for Christmas (before you go judging Ryan for leaving his wife alone on Christmas, this was Julie’s Christmas wish, to get to enjoy some solo time to write and enjoy 3 days in place on the beaches of Padre Island National Seashore), Julie headed southeast and decided to spend the night at a campground in the Cagle Recreation Area. The plan was to wake up and get an early start heading into Houston.

Our tires had other plans.

As Julie moved around the van in the morning, she thought to herself, hmmm, I thought this was a level parking spot, must not have been as level as I thought. She hopped out of the van to go for a quick morning run before packing up and confirmed that, yes, it is a level spot…just not a level van. The driver’s side tire was completely flat to the ground. We just bought new tires and shocks only a month ago. 

In less than an hour after calling AAA, Julie got a phone call from the mechanic that was on his way to take care of the tire, calling to make sure he was headed down the right road. Julie and James stayed on the phone until he reached the destination, just to make sure he landed in the right spot. 

At one point along the way, James mentioned he wasn’t sure if he had passed the turnoff to the campground or not. 

Julie offered, “I can go down to it and stand by the turn if you like. It might take me about 5 minutes to get there.”

”Oh, I bet it’d take you longer than that, you can’t be even 5 feet tall.” James said with total confidence.

”I’ll have you know I am indeed 5 feet tall…though that’s about it.” Once Julie got done setting the record straight, she took a moment to realize – wait, we are talking on the phone, how the heck does he know how tall I am?

Julie was wondering if she could do the same and guess James’ height. I’m guessing 5’10”, 5’11”, she thought.

”I’m 6’4”.” James offered up. Hmmm, Julie thought, this height guessing thing from the sound of someone’s voice thing, not so easy.

Not long after that, James said, are you out walking somewhere?

Julie had grabbed a short run before help arrived and was still walking through the woods. James said he could hear Julie stepping on leaves. She was.

”Yes, I am. You can hear that? I didn’t realize my headphones were so sensitive.”

”They’re not.” he said, “I’m a former Marine.”

”Wow.” Julie said. “That’s amazing.”

When James arrived, he asked where the spare tire was located. Julie indicated that it was under the van but that, as she had told his boss when the shop had called to confirm the location, the last guy that replaced the tire said you needed a vice grip to get it off. Because the van is built into a house on the inside, the entryway to the spare tire through the floor was covered up, so a vice grip would be needed to get the bolt off to release the tire.

James had somehow not received the message about the vice grip and had showed up without one. He was undeterred. He crawled down onto the ground and under the van and proceeded to say the most badass thing Julie has ever heard in real life.

”I don’t need a vice grip. I’ll just use my Marine grip.”

For any of you that don’t know immediately that this is not a special issue grip that all Marines receive for their toolbelt, James was referring to the grip of his Marine hands. 

And, just like that, James the Marine had that bolt off and the new tire in his hands. So, yea. Who needs a vice grip, when you’ve got a Marine grip? 

Before long, Julie learned about how James used to fly and work on Apache helicopters and had spent 10 years in Iraq. After thanking him for his service, James made it clear that he wasn’t just any Marine either. 

“The Navy and the Marines had a bidding war over me. The Navy wanted me as a sharpshooter and the Marines wanted me for my mechanical skills.”

After receiving a signing bonus that had many more zeros than Julie expected, James became a Marine. 

“So, how did you guess my height over the phone? Is it because I have a high pitched voice?”

James stopped fiddling with the tire for a moment to look at Julie directly to answer this civilian question, “No.” There was a pause just long enough for Julie to realize how much James was saying with that one little word. After the short beat of silence was done speaking volumes, he continued, “It’s just what you have to know when you’re a Marine.”

Julie’s curiosity was both fascinated and unquenched. She persisted.

”So, did you already have that ability and that’s why you were a good Marine?”

”No.”

“So, they taught you that?”

”When you’re a Marine, that’s just what you have to learn to do.”

James’ answers were a perfect bland of totally vague and somehow still, completely satisfying. Julie still had no idea how James acquired these impressive powers of observation, but the message had been fully received.

It being Christmas Eve, Julie figured the best way to say thanks was to reach into our permanent gift basket that we keep stocked as we move along the road, just in case we run into strangers that we want to show appreciation to or bring housewarming presents to friends that let us drop off our garbage or take a hot shower.

Julie had just bought some “hot sauce” in Forth Worth and thought James might like it – at least she thought he’d like it more than the jams or pretty soaps that were also swimming around in the basket.

It was only habañero hot sauce. Julie was mildly embarrassed to hand James something so delicate as mere habañero sauce. Surely, a man such as this could easily gargle with habañero mouth wash and not break a sweat. True to form, James confirmed Julie’s concerns, “Well, it’s barely hot, but it’ll be good on tacos and wings.”

”I wish I had some ghost pepper sauce for you, James. But this is the best I can do.”

“Oh, I eat those ghost peppers raw.”

Add “iron mouth” to the list of badassery with which this Marine comes equipped. 

Despite it being piddly sauce, James accepted it graciously, wished Julie a happy holidays and went on his way.

The moral of the story is simple and age old. Like we said, if you are going to get a flat tire in the middle of the woods of Texas and you have the opportunity to get your tire replaced by a Marine, a Marine that comes fully equipped with a Marine grip, we suggest you take it.