R and J in the USA

We are calling Kate and Brian helicopter parents – and not just because we met them inside of one. And, believe it or not, we mean it as a compliment of the highest degree. “Helicopter parents” is a term usually used to describe an overbearing type, always hovering over their children trying to keep the world away from them. This is expressly NOT the type of helicopter parents that Kate and Brian are. Not at all. As a matter of fact, for Kate and Brian, we think the term is worth reinventing completely.

When we arrived for our adventure with Safari Helicopter Tours, we were greeted by Grace, an apt name for a wonderful human that had already made us feel welcome when we made our reservation with her over the phone. “You will be sharing your ride with this family.” She said with a smile after checking us in, pointing over to Kate, Brian, and their two teenage daughters, Ruby and Clara, that were sitting patiently awaiting what would be a new type of adventure for all of us. “Oh wonderful!” Julie said. Kate responded, “Oh, well, thanks!” We immediately felt an ease of rapport with the four of them – which was good, since we’d be squeezing ourselves into a veritable floating glass bubble that would soar through the air over the stunning landscapes of Kauai for the next hour.

Before long, Kate showed what kind of person she was, displaying traits that we would get to know more and more before the afternoon was over. Grace had informed Julie over the phone that, in order to take good pictures of the views from inside of the helicopter without the intrusion of a reflective glare from the glass, folks should be wearing dark colored clothing. Despite that fact, Julie’s very pale mint green t-shirt that she was wearing, that was really just a few shades darker than white, was officially the darkest colored item she had brought to Hawaii. Julie likes bright colors. Add to that a destination of Hawaii and Julie had a suitcase full of white tank tops, white summer dresses, white hats and beige overalls – with a few pinks and light blues and pale greens thrown in there. Kate jumped up and offered Julie, at that point, a complete stranger, a sweatshirt from her car. Julie opted to purchase a Safari Helicopter Tours t-shirt as a momento instead, but the stage was set for us wanting to get to know these folks better already.

It was clear throughout our time together that we all had things in common. For starters, we were all on vacation in Kauai and taking a helicopter tour while there. Less obvious were the various traits that we all shared, especially Kate and Julie, that would sneak out more and more throughout the afternoon.

In the van on the way over as we all started the process of getting to know each other, we mentioned our plans for the next morning to go on a chocolate tour.

“Oh, I would love to do that!” Kate exclaimed. Before long, she was peppering us with questions about the tour and inquiring about the degree of our affinity for chocolate.

“Do you like dark chocolate?” Kate asked enthusiastically. We responded in the affirmative with equal enthusiasm.

”What percentage do you like? I like 82%”.

Ryan and Brian both had looks on their faces that showed they knew their respective wives. Brian knew his wife was in heaven getting to talk about dark chocolate. Ryan knew Julie was in heaven talking with anyone nerding out about something so much as to utter the question, “What percentage do you like?” Followed by an, “I like 82%”.

“Wow. You are out of our league.” Julie responded. “We have no idea what percentage we like, but we respect the heck out of the fact that you do.”

The next common bond came mid flight. We were largely all quiet throughout the adventure, taking in the views and enjoying the touring prompts from the pilot.

Sitting in the back row of the helicopter, we could see Kate grooving in the front seat to the music playing in our headset during the flight. It was clear that Kate, like Julie, had a low dance threshold.

After the flight, Ryan leaned over to Kate and got the conversation started, pointing out that his wife shared her propensity for involuntary dancing. We learned more about them over the next half hour. It turns out that their trip to Hawaii from their home in Portland, Oregon, was a mere puddle hop compared to their prior experiences.

Kate and Brian met during a study abroad program in Ecuador and later served in the Peace Corps. Wanting to give their young children the type of world exposure they themselves had as young adults, they moved their family to Uganda for a year. Brian worked for an NGO doing microfinance for local enterprises at the time while Kate spearheaded the family experience.

Julie asked Kate about the experience of raising two young girls, who had been in 1st and 4th grade at the time, in a setting so unfamiliar. Kate shared how it was hard at first, but, once they got over the initial barriers, she said it was actually easier thanks to the incredible support and community involvement that was just more natural there than stateside.

All four of them spoke of how wonderful their Uganda experience was. What impressed us most was that what made it wonderful were all things that were preceded by challenges that they each as individuals and as a family overcame. They didn’t see the challenges as a reason not to venture off the beaten path as so many would, but simply challenges to address and overcome. There was no American school where they were, for example, so Kate and Brian had to figure out how to educate their two children. Kate looked for local educational opportunities that would provide their kids with experiences they would not get in a formal school, and at the same time sought to provide them with the foundations of a traditional American education. With no American school and only a small expat community, another challenge was finding other kids of similar age for their children to play with. Eventually they did and they all made it clear that they left there with amazing new relationships, expanding cultural experiences and memories that would fuel them for life.

While in Uganda, they had traveled the countryside and visited other countries, including Rwanda. Prior to living in Uganda, they took their children to Europe too. By the time they were teenagers, their daughters had experienced multiple countries on multiple continents and been immersed in multiple world cultures.

Clara and Ruby were friendly and lovely to interact with. At the same time, they were also teenage girls on vacation with their parents. As such, we had seen them make more than a few of the stereotypical teenage faces over the course of the conversation, mostly the kind that is made when you’re mom is being, well, your mom, which is, typically, inherently some degree of annoying or embarrassing. These moments were handled light-heartedly and lovingly by all involved. “Oh, they are used to their mom’s behavior by now.” Kate piped in during one such moment where Kate was being outgoing and cracking jokes that we enjoyed, but we are not her teenage daughters. We don’t have to describe the faces. You know them.

But when we asked the girls what their worldly experiences were like for them, both of their faces lit up and we were looking at empowered, engaged, enthusiastic young adults. It was really neat to see. They talked of the amazing friends they met there and how aware they are, since being back in America, of how much more expansive their view of the world is than their local counterparts. It was easy to see that Kate and Brian had accomplished their mission to raise curious, engaged and worldly young women that had a sense of their own personal agency.

Nothing made this more clear than when, after our conversation with Kate and Brian had bubbled with enthusiastic back and forth for 10 or 15 minutes after the helicopter tour was long done with us and showed no signs of abating, Ruby interrupted after checking the time. Kate and Brian had been busy eagerly giving us travel tips for our future international travel and availing themselves as resources for when we get to planning it. Ruby stepped in with a voice of attentive responsibility, “If we are going to make our dinner reservation, we need to go now.” It was clear, these girls were on top of it.

Meeting Kate, Brian, Ruby and Clara was a nice cherry on top of the helicopter ride sundae. Not only did we have a blast chatting, we walked away inspired hearing about their adventures and the international experiences they have provided their children.

Yes, we are quite certain it is worth redefining that term all together for people like Kate and Brian. Helicopter parents are known to hover, but these helicopter parents have helped their kids to fly.